Our Boys

Our Boys

I thought today, during my boys nap time would be a good time to reflect on my precious cherubs that God has temporarily given to us! I say "temporarily", b/c truthfully, they are HIS & He has given us the honor & privilege to raise them up here on earth.

My first born, Garrett James Lawrence, will be turning 4 May 9th.....we can't believe how quickly he has grown & oh what a joy it has been to see him evolve into each stage. He was our early, early marriage baby! Our 5th wedding anniversary is the day before his birthday. I went into labor the day after our 1 year anniversary! Wow! What an amazing, exciting, first year of marriage that was! Phew! Garrett is unique in many ways. We love his heart. He thinks of others. He loves to pretend he's flying. He loves cars. He loves wrestling with his dad. He loves huggin & kissin on his lil' brother. He LOVES to talk. And I mean T-A-L-K. But what lil' munchkin doesn't. He is full of life and challenges me in many ways. (in ways you wouldn't imagine!!) It's very humbling to have a 4 year old that corrects you when you say something you shouldn't say. wow! The biggest thing we adore & cherish about Garrett is his love for Jesus. I couldn't be more thankful for a young heart like his, that is already sold out for Jesus. What a blessing!

Now, my sweet, precious 2nd born, Gideon James Lawrence. Ahhhh - he's still my little angel. Doesn't talk much, so it's different challenges with him, but I really wouldn't call them "challenges", just amazing, cute, adorable stages of a toddler. He is 14 mo. and exploring like crazy! Having an older brother, he's definitely doing things Garrett never did. It's too cute to see the beauty of how God creates the minds of this precious lil' ones. Gideon is curious about everything & takes it all in. He's quiet at times, watching Garrett & doing alot of thinking. It's amazing to see both of my sons love on each other AND take after their dad, in many ways.

What a joy our children are to us! Every day with them, is a gift from God. I don't know I would know what to do without them. They make me confident & sure of myself. They remind me that I'm a good mommie & that I don't have to be perfect. They are also a huge reminder of the union that JC and I have. We created these precious boys together & look forward to creating more babies! :-)

I am thankful. I am looking forward to more life with my family. Seeing God do the things He does with us, together, is quite amazing. I love our boys!

Hope

Hope

Today, I am up for sharing the "valley" we walked through this past March. I would say, in hindsight, that God used a full month of testing so that we could be sharpened, refined, & ready to be propelled into more of what He wants us to be. At first, in the midst of a miscarriage, you don't see the "testing" as a good thing or a fruitful place. I saw our miscarriage as though we had really lost something - but ultimately, we gained something. We have a child who is now in the arms of Jesus AND we took a step forward in the lesson of 'blind faith'. Plus, when you walk through a fearful, sad, experience with your beloved husband, it always brings you closer together, in a way, that I can't really explain. All in all, God was standing right next to us last month, holding us up, as we lost angel baby #3, I have the flu for 2 weeks, Garrett got sick with it, then Gideon came down with Croup. I think for an entire month, I had my share of the "funkies". That is what I like to call all of that. Sickness & sadness wrapped up into one. yuk! But, never for a moment, through all the "funk", did I forget that I was forgotten. I may have had moments of doubt, (what human doesn't?) but not for one second, did I think that my heavenly father had forgotten about us.

I do believe everything you endure is NOT FOR NOTHING! Is that even correct grammar? oh well, it's my grammar! ha! I know that our family "trials" or "funkies" are for the good that God wants to bring to us.....He doesn't want us to just sail through life, He loves us too much for that. He wants my husband and I to reach deeper, deeper than we've ever gone. So deep, that it feels uncomfortable. That's a good place to be -- well, that is what I am discovering. Being comfortable isn't healthy. For us anyways....He has so much for my family, that just a month of the "funkies", although was enough for me, was God's way of showing us how to TOTALLY depend on Him & Him alone.

I also realize, that all the "funkies" we experienced is apart of life. And sometimes it's just "life". But, I interpret it on a much deeper level....so that I can connect with my Father in Heaven. I can look back at last month, even with the dreary, dark, sad, confusing, horomonal days, and say, "yes, this is for my good". Thank you Jesus!

The title of my blog, "Hope", says it all. It's my word for the year! The next baby God gives to us to care for, their middle name is going to be "hope". It just explains everything, in the purest way! In God's way. He is Hope. He is mercy. He is love. He is all-knowing.

I am giving Him my "weights" & taking His wings!

This bird house, my dear, sweet husband bought for me last month, in the midst of everything, this bright, pink, happy bird house, put a smile on my face and reminded me, that we can "nest" in God's arms and rest, knowing He will feed us, take care of us no matter what! I like to think of that bird house, every time I look out the window, that I'm covered, snuggled closely by my Father, no matter what storms rage outside my window.